I’m taking the One Little Word class by Ali Edwards at Big Picture Classes. It’s a year-round class and you can start anytime. Every month on the 1st you receive your prompt challenge for the month. A group of class participants are using their blogs to share their thoughts on the month’s topic. To see all my posts listed, go to the top menu bar under “Documenting Life” and click on One Little Word.
March. Oi! Where is the time going? My month was zapped by activity.
- My husband was out of the country for over a week. I planned/hosted/celebrated/cleaned-up birthdays five days apart.
- March Break… our first.
- A Stomach bug. Yes, St.Patrick’s Day was very green but not so lucky.
- Recovery of all of the above.
All of which leads me to now. This is the part where I admit I did not give enough attention to my one little word for the month. I was just getting through it. You know?
My one little word intention for March was “seeking truth”. I can admit that I am always doing this… in myself, in the world, in others. My biggest attempt at living this intention was signing up for a meditation class in February. It started at the beginning of March. While I have to admit I haven’t been meditating daily, I have found the classes tremendously helpful and insightful (except for the missed one last week due to the stomach flu…grrrr). Most exciting to note, is that I applied a few techniques to my daily living. I might not meditate as I would like, but during the day when I am stressed I am able to focus myself and not be so quick to react. Take a deep breath, observe the emotion, and let it go. I found it most helpful with my kids. They have a tantrum? Fine. It’s not mine and it isn’t personal. Somehow that little thought helps me to keep my cool when they’re not. Secondly, I’ve used the breathing techniques to calm my son when he is upset or resisting bedtime. I hold him and take 3 deep breaths. With every inhale, I imagine myself infusing all my love and goodwill into my son. It works like magic… seriously, it is amazing. If anything, he must feel my body relax and responds accordingly. Whatever the reason, I’m thrilled.
On a negative note (or so it seems, perhaps), seeking truth was just painful and confusing. I have a tendency to get down in the winter. I know with depression one tends to view themselves negatively. Every flaw gets magnified. So, this month I’ve been a tad bit too critical of myself, my past, my roles, my everything. I’m not sure if I was seeing truth, or a distorted version of it.
The second part of the One Little Word for this month I’d like to talk about is our challenge. This month we were to choose an action, brainstorm how to accomplish it, set a time to get it done, accomplish the task, and reflect on it once completed.
Well, I waited until the last week of the month to even watch the video, to even learn the challenge and its steps. So, I could have raced around looking for some action and accomplish it in a week. I could have decided to simply make the challenge for April and bow out of this blog post. What did I do? I decided that I HAD chosen an action for the month and I did follow the steps. It wasn’t a conscious choice for a one little word challenge, but it was a very conscious choice for my life.
So, what was it? To drive. I think I’ve mentioned this on my blog before but I’m sure most people are unaware of this issue. I get fearful when I am in a car. I’ve been this way for nearly a decade. It worsened after having a baby. It worsened further when we moved 8 hours away to a new city. I learned to drive in a small city at a time when people for the most part were still following basic rules of the road. So, for the past five years I mostly avoid going into the city. It simply overwhelms me to drive anywhere busy. I have my safe areas where I am willing to drive but anything outside of that is off limits.
I had a few invites while my husband was away and then again during March Break. All the invites involved going outside of my safe zone. Oh, I wanted to cancel. I was in a panic and crankypants mood for the whole time leading up the events. I said yes though. If I were to say no then my fear would be interfering with my quality of life and my functioning as a healthy person. I might not choose to go outside my safe zone but when faced with invites that I would otherwise accept, I knew I had to face my fears.
Secondly, I had to consider the quality of life for my kids. I do not want them to miss out on opportunities simply because of my fear. How unfair is that? What kind of example would I be?
So, I am extremely proud to say that we went to:
- the Science Museum. I took a wrong turn in a busy intersection and got lost. I was 20 minutes late. We survived. We had fun. We made memories.
- the airport. I made a wrong turn and didn’t panic. I was pretty sure I could figure out how to get there anyway, and learned a new way! We greeted Daddy back from his trip in Belgium. Seeing my daughter jump up and down, and the serene, relieved look on my son’s face was absolutely priceless.
- a playdate at a good friend’s house. The family moved a few months ago. Their old house was in my safe zone and the new one was not. I was so close to canceling and then looked on the map for a way to get there that avoided the merging of two very busy highways (which freaks me out). My kids had fun. I chatted with my friend. I found a new way to get somewhere and found out that it is a pretty direct (and rural…yay) route to the Target that is going to open in a few months. YAHOO!!!
- the Chinese Grocery store. I love this place. I took the kids there on the way to our last outing of March break. We had lunch in the takeout section. Yay, me.
- the Environmental farm. We got to see all the baby animals and their Mommas. The traffic on the way home was heavy and it was OK. We were OK.
Ok, that was a lot to read and your tears might be a result of boredom rather than joy for my overcoming or at least dealing with my fear. Either way, you took time to click onto this blog. Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful April!
To go back to the beginning of the hop, go to Lee’s blog.
And to finish off my post nicely (and because I have no other visuals to offer you), here are some photos of my daughter’s birthday party and a digital scrapbook layout to give you a sense of what I’ve been up to in March.