It has been a long time, hasn’t it?

The weather is hot. I’m the only one not complaining. I love it! Bring it on!

Today, I finished up everything at work. Imagine that! So, I’m enjoying this brief respite. I organized my cookbook (photocopies of recipes I like). I looked up vegetarian marshmallow & gelatin recipe info. I made a list of things to do at home (what an on-going mess!).

Yesterday, I was enjoying the greenness of June and heat of summer as I walked home. The scents and the memories they evoke were making me nostalgic for my childhood. I think it is true when some people say that many people desire to have children to relive their childhood. It is usually said as a negative thing. Why is that, really? I can’t really explain the desire I have to become a mother. Is it just a mix of biological longing, maternal instinct, desire to love someone, and posterity? What about a person’s need to make peace with or relive their own childhood through their children? Is that one of my motivations?

I’m not sure if I want to relive my childhood but I do believe I would love to have a rekindled appreciation for a simpler life. I want to shell peas, hang laundry on the line, and make sand art with my children. I want to see their delight in exploring the lawn for grasshoppers and toads. I want to captivated by the pattern of clouds in a sky. I want to be distracted by laughter rather than a ringing cell phone.

Which brings me to a whole other topic. I love having information at my fingertips. It’s great being able to find out what Amber Tambyln’s thoughts are on the demise of “Joan of Arcadia”, to find an obscure recipe for Vegetarian Marshmallows, or to trace my genealogy. Marvelous!
However, the overwhelming and unsolicited barrage of media is exhausting me. The expectation that I answer every phone call, every instant message, every email, and keep up-to-date with all these contacts is paralyzing. Depressing really. No longer is a friendly phone call, or an unexpected letter always a pleasure. Instant answers are demanded. I want to hide. When did “media” become a bad word?

I’m babbling.

My point is that I’d like to return to a time, or place in my life, where I am free to enjoy the silence, to feel the breeze without having that constant nagging pressure to respond to the demands of this frenzied media world we live in.

That’s all for now. And yes, I do see the irony in my using a blog to discuss my concerns. Hilarious… just hilarious.


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